


Begin Anew

by beckyxmaggie



Category: House of Cards (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:33:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25311649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckyxmaggie/pseuds/beckyxmaggie
Relationships: Rachel Posner/Doug Stamper
Kudos: 3





	Begin Anew

The car's engine roaring from behind, Rachel turned to see the gigantic van hurtling towards her. Dodging to the verge of the road, yowling for help and running with all her might regardless of the direction, her stiff and tight legs resulted from the sleepless night failed her. Her scream screeching into vault of the cloudless sky, but no one would hear her in the wasteland. Again and again, the white van mercilessly steered its attack at her. A bone-tired calf she was, scampering aimlessly, on what hope she grasped so hard that kept her running for life? After all, the life of Rachel Posner was pretty fucked up -- a highschool dropout to a call girl, no family, no friends. The guy in the driver's seat, the accomplished chief of Staff in the White House, prestigious and sagacious as he should always have high-paying jobs proffered. His boss was now the president of the USA. To be fair, the world needed him more than it needed her. What was she running for? No one gave a fuck about her. If staying alive was already a misery, why not giving up.

On the off chance of reuniting seeing Lisa again, she travelled all the way from Joppa, Maryland to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Since the moment she ambushing Doug in the woods, jumping on his car and fleeing, the one thing sprouted in her mind was Santa Fe, once the wonderland of their dream. Every step she made shortening the 2987 kilometres trudge made her body weary, but carrying Lisa with her at heart was her last tenacious grip. If Rachel Posner had ever lived, it would be the days she was with Lisa. Although love at the first sight was foolish, Lisa 's love for her had healed her broken heart. "Why would you ever believed in such a messed-up person like me?" she sobbed to herself quite often in the dead of the night, "I hurt you in so many ways." However, even all alone, there were words she couldn't even utter: Please come to Santa Fe to see me. She prayed. Stars flickering in the dark night, and vast plains of the South echoing back with howling wind. She could hear rats scurried in and out on the wheat fields, squeaking as they were enjoying the mating process. In comparison to sojourning in gutters of the cities, she liked it better here in the pristine where she could fall sound asleep in the arms of nature. Only in the countryside could her mind rest, and it was so funny that people were afraid of wilderness since all she was terrified of was anything related to human beings. No more serving strange men at night, no more drinking glasses after glasses of champagne , no more staying awake fighting nameless thoughts.

She remembered the day seeing the news of Douglas Stamper. On a Thursday night, in front of shop windows she craned forward to look at the TV screen. The broadcast program displayed Doug's picture, along with blood red banner reading his life was in a critical condition. Learning about his status was a curse since then she couldn't help but agonize for what she had done. Even deep down she knew he used her to seduce Peter Russo, taking advantage of her gratitude and naivety to take life of others. Had he not commanded her to do that stupid task, they both would've survived. He would still be the person financing her back on her feet, and she would've spend her entire life to return the favour. Still, she wept for what she did in the woods. To break the curse, she decided to avoid the city, and only entered one when she was nearly starving to death. When stopping by a city, Rachel would just wait by the bin near a random hot dog stand waiting for people to chuck one away and quickly darting in. She could remember people looking at her with disgust, but it no longer mattered because she came to live with filth and dehumanization. Once, there was a ginger cat sitting on the other side of the pavement, looking at Rachel with wide emerald eyes. Her instinct was to clutched the half-bitten hot dog tight in her hands. 'That's mine' she growled. They stood soaked in the pouring rain, staring at each other. Some part of its hair was bleached, and some was burned. The inspection of its worn-out collar suggested it had also been strayed on the street for a while. Knowing they both would be instantly agitated by things approaching on the verge of personal space, she just, instead, picked up a fallen leaf on the ground, put the half of the lager half of the hot dog under the tree and left without a back glance. The street days made her become alert to surroundings. When entering a new place, she always looked for exit and planned escape routes first. Even a trivial change in her neighbourhood in Santa Fe would alarm her. She could have noticed the white van had it not been the excitement for the new identity blinded her. But it's all too late.

All of a sudden, she just let it go, turning around to face her fate. With her eyes closed, the breeze was soft, weightless. A soul can rise into the sky like a balloon, while the shell of its body stays. Really, no one ever asked her whether she wanted to become Rachel Posner or born to a well-off family like the one of Nancy Kaufberger. She might not return to heaven where she came from after doing all these vice, but with remorse, she could toil up the mountain of purgatory.

The van skidded to one side and nearly flipped over before it finally came to a stop. After hearing a few vague curse from the van, she watched the man got off. 

"Why don't you run over me?" 

His face stony, staring at the horizon. The dreadful silence stretched.

"Let's not prolong this burden, it's good for us both. You will never trust me as long as I live--- "

He immediately turning to glare at her, snapped "How dare you talk about trust in my face after what you've done to me."

"You used to say, "she went on, unnerving by the traumatic days. " 'I trust you to be smart', 'everything will be fine' But how smart I could be. I accepted that telephone survey job I hated to do. I had to confined to my flat like a prisoner. I chased the only person who cared about me away."

"I care about you."

"To honour our promise of not attracting any attention, I threw my life in disarray, but will you ever be satisfied? " 

"All I wanted and everything I've done was to keep you safe." 

"Are you asking me to thank you for not killing me from the beginning to now?"She couldn't help herself.

"Quiet." Rachel knew he must feel something for her although Doug would never let emotions get the better of him verbally. 

"Why did you make me to seduce Russo that night?"

"I know nothing about his death."

"You do. You scheme and make me part of your plan."

"That was an accident."

She gently shook her head, and turned her back on him. 

Staying with this man, she could very well die at any time, five minutes ago 

"I'm..." he dropped his head, "Yes, I do."

His concession was her final confirmation. 

She walked over the car and jumped onto the shotgun seat. As if nothing ever happened. After a while, Doug finally got on the van."Can we start over again one last time?" He turned to meet her eyes, looking into them for a few seconds then shifted to the ID she white-knuckled. The engines roared again, and they headed to the north.

This would be her last time to start all over again, but also her first nod to shackle them as one. This time, both of them knew exactly down at the end of the road was either live or kill. She had to jump voluntarily into the abyss with life holding this ordained knife at her throat. The more she became Cassie Lockheart, she could push the knife away bit by bit. If she stayed as Rachel Posner...at least they tried.


End file.
